The formula for happiness

Fashion

There are big joys and small joys — the unexpected, the brief, the obvious and the hidden. And then there is contentment.“This is the greatest kind of joy,” says Anna von Rüden. “It nestles deep inside of you and can’t be so easily shaken.” And she would know, for she has had it for many years now. This March, Anna von Rüden will celebrate her 70th birthday. She is particularly looking forward to the seven in front of the zero: seven is her lucky number. She attributes the fact that she is still in high demand as a model at her age to her cheerful disposition.

Anna von Rüden looks delicate, almost elfin, as she sits in her apartment enjoying a cappuccino with fruit loaf, dressed in a pale blue organza pussy bow blouse with her white hair half up. Outside, on both sides of the narrow, cobblestoned streets of Berlin-Lichterfelde, grand villas with huge gardens are concealed behind tall hedges and wrought iron fences. It would be fair to say that Anna von Rüden is an expert in happiness. Not only is she one of the most sought-after silver models (models over 60) who is booked for jobs in Paris, London, Copenhagen, Milan, Moscow and Cape Town — she has also written an autobiography in which she explores the meaning of happiness. In “Jeden Tag aufs Neue glücklich” (“Finding New Happiness Every Day”), she tells her life story: of her childhood in the rural Ruhr area, shaped by the contrast between a strict mother and a free-spirited father; of her own four children, and of starting anew in her mid-50s after her divorce. It is a story of incredible ups and downs, but also one of hopeful change. The book tells of how von Rüden managed to reinvent herself in her middle age. “I take things as they come,” says von Rüden right at the beginning of the interview, revealing her first secret to happiness. “When the modelling scout from Hamburg approached me on the Kurfürstendamm in Berlin and suggested I do a test shoot, I didn’t hesitate for long,” she recalls. Neither did she hesitate when her current partner, a musician with black hair down to his waist and a dark blue velvet coat, waited for her after visiting a flea market and asked for her name, and later her number. They have now been a couple for over ten years. “Craziness, tolerance and love.” This is how Johannes, von Rüden’s eldest son, describes his mother’s open personality. He was born in 1976, the same year as the late-blooming love of von Rüden’s life. The family was astonished when von Rüden announced the destination of her first ever trip with her new partner, Michael: the heavy metal festival Inferno in Oslo. “I’m absolutely mad about dancing,” says Anna von Rüden. If not at a festival, then at SO36, a notorious club and punk hangout in Kreuzberg, or at legendary techno club Berghain. She feels right at home among the younger people — von Rüden is not in the least bit shy. At the opposite end of the spectrum from this charged, energetic music, she loves artists such as Leonard Cohen, whose poster hangs next to her bed and “watches over her sleep”, as she says.

Von Rüden’s life is clearly defined and kept in balance by opposites. “I have an enormous amplitude of feeling—I can be extremely happy about things, but I can also feel deep, intense pain. Life is richer that way.” When her ex-husband was sick with cancer, it was her joy to bring his favourite food — mashed potato with butter — to his hospital bed. She is visibly moved by the memory. Her gift is to see the good in things, where others would be mired in frustration and darkness, and her unbroken optimism helped her ex-husband recover. Finding something good, even in seemingly dark or stressful moments — for Anna von Rüden, that is the secret recipe for happiness.

How easy it is to be happy, as a young and healthy person. But at an advanced age, it requires a little more skill. 

Anna von Rüden moves in front of the camera as candidly as she talks about her feelings. It’s apparent that she feels comfortable in her own skin. Never doubt yourself, she says. Though that, too, was not always a given, especially in her youth when she thought herself too tall and too thin. Her self-confidence had yet to grow. At the beginning of her modelling career twelve years ago, her photos were often retouched to smooth out her wrinkles — although she has earned every single one through valuable experience.

Now, however, there has been a paradigm shift. The faces of silver models show more character and are more distinctive than those of younger models. Models in their nineties, such as Iris Apfel, who has 1.6 million Instagram followers, or Daphne Selfe, who has been in the business for a legendary 49 years, have paved the way. It is their distinctiveness that has made them icons. Isn’t it crazy? For the first time in fashion history, the new generation is the old one. “There are more jobs for us — but the competition has grown fiercer,” von Rüden admits. She even has colleagues who have prematurely dyed their hair grey to achieve the desired look.

Anna von Rüden’s appetite for fashion is like her curiosity and lust for life — insatiable. The silver model slips into clothing from the Marc Cain spring/summer collection with sheer delight. And once again, she demonstrates her versatility: a pair of wide, terracotta pants and a semi-transparent white blouse look just as stunning as a cotton knit sweater in purple, which she combines with a pair of high-waisted, pleated pants. 

And yet modelling is tiring. Waking up early, travelling and being on her feet for hours on end — where does she get the energy? “I love being on the move; I inherited that from my father, and I’m a huge fan of fresh air. When I want to recharge, I go outside. I get on my bicycle or go for a walk.” She also likes to relax with a latte macchiato, for example in the modern ambiance of the restaurant “Weltwirtschaft” at the “Haus der Kulturen der Welt”. Art and culture are an important fixture in her life.

And then there is family, her biggest source of joy. She has 14 grandchildren through her daughter and three sons, who all live in Berlin. Her eldest son alone has six children, the second-eldest, four, and the youngest two siblings have two each. “And they’re not done with having kids yet,” says the beautiful, unconventional grandmother. She spends a lot of time with her grandchildren to help her daughters-in-law, who are all working mothers. “Watching the little ones run around outdoors, play rugby and monkey around on climbing frames, then come running for some juice and cake from my picnic basket” — those are her biggest moments of contentment. Behind her on the shelf, the comic character Lurchi and a family of stuffed rabbits wait for their next use. Every Friday, all the grandchildren come to visit for chips with mayo—a ritual they have all grown very fond of. And today is Friday!

Anna von Rüden is also a qualified social worker and wants to help those less fortunate in life, which is why the happy-go-lucky model sponsors an additional child and takes care of her sick neighbour. “Even when I’m very busy, I want to do my bit for other people,” she says, for happiness consists of many building blocks. “Small joys, they grow and diffuse.” And if you collect them and give them room, you will find fulfilment.

Marc Cain,
01–2021